Explain it to me like I'm a two-year-old.
2009
December
32
November
44
October
48
September
54
August
65
July
93
June
150
May
157
April
78
March
34
February
January
GPOYW. At the office Christmas party. I’m so badass...
Dec 16th
The Anti-Theft Sandwich Bag
Dec 15th
So I got this machine. I call her Olivia. Because like Agent...
Dec 15th
Octopus snatches coconut and runs. This creature here is so...
Dec 14th
They did not let me heart the headline.
Dec 14th
Breathing is the hardest thing to do. With all I’ve...
Dec 14th
I’m looking for a pretty sleeve for Kenneth. Help me...
Dec 11th
Christmas isn’t about Santa, or Jesus — it’s...
— Michael Scott.
Dec 11th
Mojo and his Santa cousins. :-)
Dec 10th
I anglicised your centre.
— My boss corrected my spelling...
Dec 10th
You said that irony was the shackles of...
Why I named my MBP Kenneth: Named after the 30 Rock character, it is not unlike a hillbilly. ...
Dec 10th
I'm an elitist Muslim. Put THAT in your...
Dec 9th
GPOYW giving the Kenneth smile with Kenneth, the MBP. ...
Dec 9th
formspring.me
What TV show theme song best represents your outlook on life? My...
Dec 8th
formspring.me
When are you coming to Chicago? If you are a handsome bachelor,...
Dec 8th
Meet Kenneth (after Kenneth Ellen Parcell). My true love,...
Dec 8th
Hehehe. Please to ask any question. Except...
Dec 7th
Please suggest a name for my MBP which...
I’m unlikely to use your suggestion but I’ll know what NOT to name him! :P
Dec 7th
Dear Lisa, I love your tweets because...
Xoxo, Your grateful self.
Dec 7th
Well. I should've used a different proxy...
Dec 7th
Hehehe. You don’t say. Hehehe.
Dec 6th
Wind up your stone throwing arms if you want…
— “texburgher” ...
Dec 6th
:D This feels like getting married. I’m ecstatic but...
Dec 6th
I just don't know what to do with...
And that’s my eloquent take on Favrd.
Dec 6th
Soooooooo... Who wants to hear a joke?
Dec 6th
Watch
Empty spaces fill me up with holes Distant faces with no place left to go Without you within me I...
Dec 6th
That's what she said.
g:
OMGOMGOMGOMG
15 inches??
13??
Lisa:
13 :D
g:
YAY
yer gonna have so much fun with it
Lisa:
YEAH
g:
i'm going to teach you all the tricks
Lisa:
awesome yay :D
Dec 5th
Oh sure, it’s okay when Stevie Wonder does it. But I...
Dec 2nd
GPOYW braving the crowd and posing dorkily in front of a...
Dec 2nd
I LOL’d. Then I pee’d. This reminds me of the...
Dec 1st
Favourited, retweeted, Facebook-status-updated and now...
Dec 1st
I got the books before the MacBook. Hehehe. It’s like What...
Nov 30th
Baby, I can see your halo. You know you’re my saving...
Nov 30th