May 2012
14 posts
Do you love your job? If not, why are you staying...
Just feeling ways about things. Things being my job.
1 tag
Kids. They learn to blaspheme so young.
Me: Who moved my panda?
(silence)
Me: WHO?!
Nephew: You told us to take care of him.
Me: Well. He doesn't look very happy now.
Niece: But he's smiling!
Me: He's not smiling as much as when I left for work this morning.
Niece: But he can't move his mouth unless somebody does it for him!
Me: (shocked)
Truthful Tomorrow
I used to think Team Jacob supported the Lost character. I was ready to fight for Team Smoke Monster.
I approach all public toilets with trepidation. Pushing the door slowly and peeking in, as if in a horror movie. I believe nasty toilets are something you can never unsee. I hate that I can remember the worst.
I didn’t sleep well last night. As I awoke every hour or so, I held Bonsai,...
Somebody that I used to know
Yes, Gotye’s hit is everywhere. Just about everyone has done a cover of it, including your mom. And hipsters would like to remind you that they knew the song when it was first released in mid-2011 - shame on you. What I like though is that Glee’s version applied to a relationship between brothers. The song kinda rings true to some of my failed online friendships, too. Sure, I’ve...
Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
Then I think it takes one to know one.
Then I laugh to myself.
Wait, what?: The Truth →
kimalah:
I am becoming an asshole driver.
I don’t weave in and out of traffic or run lights or cut people off. I do yell and scream at those people. I curse and hit my steering wheel when getting stuck behind a slow moving vehicle. I don’t let people merge into my lane or allow someone to pull out in…
Be careful what you wish for! Our public transport is top notch and yet I always...
April 2012
19 posts
Conversations with pandas.
Bonsai: Hey! Where were you?
Me: I was at work then I...
Bonsai: OK. But you weren't here.
Me: Yeah, because I was at work.
Bonsai: OK. But where were you?
Me: At work?
Bonsai: OK. You weren't here though.
Me: No, I wasn't.
Bonsai: Where were you?
Me: I was at.... I was here the whole time.
Bonsai: Oh... OK.
I see deactivated people.
Did you know that Facebook now lets you see your deactivated friends? Yep, you can still see their name in your Friends list. Only you can see them in your list, says Facebook when you click on their name, as if proclaiming your sixth sense. The best part is that you can now unfriend that person even while their account is deactivated. Why has no one highlighted this awesome new feature before?...
1 tag
3 tags
Shame is a sham.
I watched the movie Shame last night and thought, hey, this could totally be my life. But I got on the train this morning and did not see Michael Fassbender staring me down. Do you know how upsetting that is? It’s downright depressing. A real shame.
I suppose I’m in the wrong city. I considered moving to New York just to increase my chances but I wonder if Michael Fassbender even...
1 tag
froggeek replied to your photo: Easy Shepherd’s Pie (made with beef; recipe from…
Um, will you marry me?
YES.
Save the date, everyone. My pandas will finally have a father.
1 tag
March 2012
19 posts
"You're worth it."
The best part is not just hearing this. It’s hearing it from someone who has been genuinely helpful and cares enough to make a difference and is a nerd.
I always think it's unfair that my stuffed panda...
And I cry.
1 tag
I love big butter and I cannot lie.
The rumours are true. I have indeed been swept off my feet by butter. I’ve always been fond of butter. But now I love am in love with butter. My life has churned a fairytale and my forbidden love is fair, rich and creamy.
I read articles which exhort me to try a healthier alternative but margarine is but a worthless, tasteless spread in disguise. They try to deceive me but I can believe...
If Bob, my stuffed panda, could talk, what would...