I don't get people who don't like eggs.
The children are watching My Little Pony in...
Mojo sometimes asks how many Likes his photo gets. Okay, no. I tell him how few hearts he gets then I tell him to buck the cute up. My Tumblarity isn’t going to help itself, teddy bears.
My Top Five Chicken Soups.
5. For the soulmate. 4. For the soul asylum. 3. For the psychedelic soul. 2. For the Seoul in mourning of their deceased ex-leader. 1. For the one with no soul. One above and one below.
When magic happened And We We had our moment And you told Me How beautiful How brilliant How smart How funny I was If only I I had listened To those words With care Because You You were talking About you.
My sister - Scrubs the whole kitchen damn clean. Me - Makes burgers and fries for everyone. Guess who her kids love more? Their stupid uncle (my other sister’s husband).
He finally replied with "Of course, no problem!"...
I texted my boss last night about taking today...
I miss alsobacon.com. Especially on Wednesdays.
Don't wowwy. I will be with you!
Okay. Sorry. I'd just really wanted to say I love...
It's so uncertain in love.
My Top 5 Pretzels
Original Sour Cream & Onion Almond The One The Clerk Didn’t Hear Me Order Pudding.
I bought pretzels instead.
Have a Happy Period!
The maxi pad post reminded me of my favourite McSweeney’s entry: AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.” Are you...
Some people think I'm a biased bigot. It's not...
Whatever, you people with the sushi. I'm having...
I'm awake! I forget. Am I a zombie or are we in...
Why I love my mother. "Lisa! There's a blue whale...
Now I’m sorry for spending $20.
I asked my mum for $10. She had no change so she...
Me: Lol. This is hilarious. There's a cockroach running around on the train.
yhf: IT'S ON VACATION FROM NY
Letter to my teenage self.
Hey there, Don’t cry when people make fun of you. Ten years from now, you’ll be popular for making fun of yourself! Love, Future L.
You make me pee like a natural woman.
Actual thought whilst in the toilet a minute ago. I HOPE YOUR NOT BLAD(DER).